How to Stop Saying “Um”: 13 Tips from a Speaking Coach

There it is again. You’re explaining an idea in a meeting, introducing yourself on a podcast, answering a job interview question, or giving a toast at your cousin’s wedding, and suddenly your sentence sounds like it has speed bumps: “Um… so… like… I just think… you know…”

First, take a breath. Saying “um” does not mean you are unintelligent, unprepared, or secretly powered by dial-up internet. Filler words are a normal part of spontaneous speech. They often show up when your brain is planning the next phrase, your mouth is moving faster than your thoughts, or your nerves have decided to host a tiny parade in your chest.

Still, too many filler words can distract listeners, weaken your message, and make you sound less confident than you actually are. The good news? You do not have to become a robot who speaks in polished TED Talk captions. You simply need practical speaking habits that help your brain, breath, and voice work as a team.

Below are 13 speaking-coach-approved tips to help you stop saying “um,” reduce filler words, and communicate with more clarity, warmth, and authority.

Why Do We Say “Um” in the First Place?

Before we start swatting filler words like mosquitoes at a summer picnic, it helps to understand why they appear. “Um,” “uh,” “like,” “you know,” and “so” often act as verbal placeholders. They buy you a moment while your brain searches for the next word, organizes your point, or decides whether your sentence is about to take a left turn into a cornfield.

Filler words are especially common when you are nervous, speaking without notes, answering unexpected questions, rushing, or trying to sound polished under pressure. They can also appear when you are afraid of silence. Many speakers feel that even a one-second pause is painfully awkward, when in reality, listeners usually experience it as thoughtful and confident.

The goal is not to eliminate every “um” forever. A few natural disfluencies make speech sound human. The goal is to stop using filler words as your default parking spot whenever your thoughts need a second to catch up.

How to Stop Saying “Um”: 13 Practical Tips

1. Record Yourself Speaking Naturally

You cannot fix a habit you have not clearly heard. Record yourself during a practice presentation, mock interview, Zoom rehearsal, or casual explanation of a topic you know well. Then listen backnot to cringe, not to judge, and definitely not to declare, “I must now live in the woods.” Listen like a coach.

Notice which filler words you use most. Is it “um”? “Like”? “You know”? “I mean”? Do they appear at the beginning of sentences, between ideas, or when you are nervous? Once you spot your pattern, you can train it.

Try this: Record two minutes of speech and count your filler words. Do it again a week later. Improvement becomes much easier when you can measure it.

2. Replace Filler Words with Pauses

The most powerful substitute for “um” is not a fancier word. It is silence. A pause gives your brain time to think and gives your listener time to absorb what you just said. It also makes you sound more composed.

Instead of saying, “Um, I think the main issue is timing,” try: “The main issue is… timing.” That tiny pause creates emphasis. It feels dramatic in your head, but to the audience, it sounds intentional.

At first, silence may feel like standing on stage in socks. Stay with it. Pauses are not empty space; they are punctuation for speech.

3. Slow Down Your Speaking Pace

Fast talkers often use more filler words because their mouths outrun their message. When your speaking pace is too quick, your brain has less time to organize the next thought, so it tosses in “um” like a panic button.

To slow down, imagine placing periods between your ideas. Finish one thought before beginning the next. You can also practice reading a paragraph aloud at 80% of your normal speed. It may feel slow to you, but listeners often find it clearer and more confident.

Example: Instead of rushing through, “Today I want to talk about the proposal and the budget and the timeline and the staffing needs,” break it into chunks: “Today I want to cover three things: the proposal, the budget, and the timeline.” Cleaner. Stronger. Less verbal spaghetti.

4. Prepare Your First and Last Sentence

Many filler words appear at the start because speakers are still warming up their engines. One easy fix is to memorize only your opening sentence and closing sentence. Not the whole speech. Not a theatrical monologue. Just the runway and the landing strip.

Your first sentence should be simple and direct: “Today, I’ll show you three ways to make client onboarding faster.” Your final sentence should leave the audience with a clear takeaway: “If we simplify the process now, we can save time every week.”

When you know how you will begin and end, you reduce panic, and panic is where many “ums” are born.

5. Use a Clear Structure

A wandering message invites filler words. Structure gives your thoughts a map. For presentations, meetings, interviews, and even difficult conversations, use a simple framework.

Try one of these:

• Point, reason, example, takeaway: Make your point, explain why it matters, give an example, and summarize.
• What, so what, now what: Explain what happened, why it matters, and what should happen next.
• Past, present, future: Show where things started, where they are now, and what comes next.

When your message has structure, your brain does not have to invent the road while driving the car.

6. Practice in Short Bursts

Long practice sessions can turn into autopilot. Instead, rehearse in short, focused bursts. Pick one answer, one story, or one section of a presentation and practice it for two or three minutes. Focus only on replacing filler words with pauses.

This kind of practice trains awareness without overwhelming you. It also mirrors real-life speaking moments, where you often need to answer clearly in short windows of time.

For example, practice answering: “Tell me about yourself.” Record your answer. Remove filler words. Try again. Your second version will almost always be sharper.

7. Breathe Before You Begin

A rushed breath often leads to a rushed sentence. Before speaking, inhale quietly through your nose, let your shoulders drop, and begin after a brief pause. This gives your voice more support and tells your nervous system, “We are not being chased by a bear. We are explaining quarterly goals.”

Breathing also helps reduce the physical symptoms that make filler words more likely: tight throat, shallow voice, racing pace, and mental fog. You do not need a dramatic yoga routine. One grounded breath before answering a question can change the entire sentence.

8. Become Comfortable with Thinking Out LoudWithout Filling Every Gap

Many people say “um” because they believe they must answer immediately. You do not. Thoughtful speakers often take a second before responding.

Use phrases that buy time without sounding like filler:

• “That’s a great question. Let me think about it for a moment.”
• “The clearest way to answer that is…”
• “There are two parts to my answer.”
• “Let me start with the most important point.”

These phrases are useful because they organize the conversation. Unlike “um,” they tell the listener where you are going.

9. Use Notes the Right Way

Notes can reduce filler wordsor increase them. It depends on how you use them. If you write full paragraphs, you may lose your place and start filling the air while searching for the next line. If your notes are too vague, you may ramble.

The sweet spot is keyword notes. Write short prompts, not complete scripts. For example:

• Problem: onboarding delays
• Example: last month’s client launch
• Solution: checklist and owner
• Result: faster handoff

Keyword notes keep you organized while still allowing you to sound conversational.

10. Practice Pausing in Everyday Conversations

If you only practice during formal presentations, progress will be slow. Your speaking habits live in everyday conversation, so train there too.

When ordering coffee, explaining a task, answering a phone call, or telling a friend a story, notice your filler words. Replace one “um” with a pause. Just one. This low-pressure practice builds muscle memory.

You are not trying to become perfect while discussing sandwich options. You are teaching your brain that silence is safe.

11. Ask for Feedback from One Trusted Person

Feedback helps, but too much feedback can make you feel like your personality is under audit. Choose one trusted person and ask them to listen for filler words during a practice run.

Make the request specific: “Can you count how many times I say ‘um’ in the first three minutes?” or “Can you raise a finger when you hear me say ‘like’ as a filler?” Specific feedback is useful. Vague feedback like “just be more confident” belongs in the junk drawer.

If you want to make it fun, ask them to tap a pen each time you use a filler word. Annoying? Yes. Effective? Also yes.

12. Reduce Nervous Energy Before You Speak

Nervousness is one of the biggest reasons filler words multiply. When your body feels rushed, your speech usually follows. Before speaking, do something that lowers physical tension: stand with both feet grounded, stretch your jaw, roll your shoulders, shake out your hands, or take a slow breath.

Also, reframe the moment. Instead of thinking, “Everyone is judging me,” try, “I am here to help them understand something.” That shift moves your attention away from self-monitoring and toward service. When you focus on helping the listener, your delivery often becomes calmer and more direct.

13. Do Not Aim for Perfect Speech

Here is the twist: obsessing over never saying “um” can make you say it more. If your brain is running a background program called “Do Not Say Um, Do Not Say Um, Do Not Say Um,” congratulationsyou have made “um” the star of the show.

A better goal is clarity. Ask yourself: Is my message organized? Am I pausing? Am I speaking at a pace people can follow? Am I making eye contact? Am I landing my main point?

Clear speech matters more than flawless speech. A warm, thoughtful speaker with three filler words is far more effective than a stiff, over-polished speaker who sounds like they were assembled in a corporate basement.

Common Filler Words to Watch For

“Um” gets most of the blame, but it has several sneaky cousins. Depending on your speaking style, your filler words may include:

• Um
• Uh
• Like
• You know
• Actually
• Basically
• So
• I mean
• Kind of
• Sort of
• Right?
• At the end of the day

Some of these words are perfectly useful when they have meaning. “So” can show cause and effect. “Actually” can clarify a contrast. “Right?” can invite agreement. The problem begins when these words become verbal confettieverywhere, but not doing much.

A Simple 7-Day Practice Plan to Reduce “Um”

If you want quick progress, follow this one-week plan.

Day 1: Record and Count

Record yourself speaking for two minutes. Count your filler words. Do not judge the number. This is your baseline.

Day 2: Practice the Pause

Answer three simple questions aloud. Each time you feel an “um” coming, pause instead.

Day 3: Slow Your Pace

Read a short paragraph aloud at a slower speed. Focus on finishing one phrase before starting the next.

Day 4: Use a Structure

Explain a topic using “what, so what, now what.” Keep your answer under two minutes.

Day 5: Practice Under Mild Pressure

Ask a friend to give you a random question. Pause before answering. Use a clear opening phrase.

Day 6: Record Again

Record the same type of response you recorded on Day 1. Count filler words again and compare.

Day 7: Speak in Real Life

Choose one real conversation where you will practice pausing. Keep it simple. Progress beats perfection.

Examples: Before and After Removing Filler Words

Interview Answer

Before: “Um, I think I’m a good fit because, like, I’ve worked on similar projects and, you know, I’m really organized.”

After: “I’m a strong fit because I’ve managed similar projects, I’m organized, and I know how to keep teams aligned under deadlines.”

Meeting Update

Before: “So, um, we’re kind of waiting on the design team, and then we’ll, like, move forward.”

After: “We’re waiting on the design team’s final files. Once we receive them, we can move into development.”

Presentation Opening

Before: “Um, hi everyone, so today I’m going to talk about, uh, customer feedback.”

After: “Today, I’ll show you what our customers are asking for and how we can respond faster.”

Notice that the improved versions are not fancy. They are simply cleaner. Strong speaking often comes from removing clutter, not adding sparkle dust.

When “Um” Is Not the Real Problem

Sometimes filler words are only a symptom. The deeper issue may be unclear thinking, lack of preparation, anxiety, weak structure, or trying to sound impressive instead of being understood. If you keep saying “um,” do not just attack the word. Look at the speaking situation around it.

Ask yourself:

• Do I know my main point?
• Am I trying to say too much at once?
• Am I nervous about being judged?
• Am I speaking faster than I can think?
• Do I need a better structure?

Once you solve the real issue, filler words often shrink naturally.

of Real-World Experience: What Actually Works When You’re Trying to Stop Saying “Um”

Here is what many speaking coaches learn after working with students, professionals, presenters, and very brave people who would rather wrestle a raccoon than speak in public: the “um” problem is rarely fixed by shame. People do not become clearer speakers by hating their voices. They improve by becoming more aware, more prepared, and more comfortable with silence.

One of the most common experiences is the shock of hearing yourself recorded. Almost everyone dislikes it at first. Your voice sounds strange, your pacing feels uneven, and every “um” seems to arrive wearing tap shoes. But after the first few recordings, something changes. You stop hearing your voice as “bad” and start hearing it as data. You notice, “I say ‘like’ when I’m giving examples,” or “I say ‘um’ every time I move to a new point.” That awareness is the doorway to improvement.

Another real-world lesson: people often overestimate how awkward pauses feel to listeners. A speaker may pause for two seconds and feel as though the room has entered a new geological era. But listeners usually do not mind. In fact, they often appreciate the pause because it gives them time to process the message. When a speaker learns to pause without apologizing, their authority rises almost immediately.

In coaching sessions, one useful exercise is called the “silent reset.” The speaker practices a short answer and is instructed to stop completely whenever they feel a filler word coming. No sound. No replacement phrase. Just silence, then the next word. At first, it feels unnatural. After a few rounds, the speaker realizes they can survive the pause. More importantly, the sentence becomes easier to follow.

Professionals often see the biggest improvement when they prepare transitions. They may know their content well, but they stumble between sections. That is where filler words sneak in. A manager presenting a project update may be clear on the budget details but say “um” repeatedly when moving from budget to timeline. Preparing transition lines such as “Now let’s look at the timeline” or “The next issue is staffing” can instantly clean up delivery.

Another experience worth mentioning is that filler words often increase when speakers try to sound smarter than necessary. They stack long sentences, use abstract language, and search for perfect phrasing while speaking. The cure is plain English. Say the thing clearly. “We need more time” is stronger than “Um, I think what we’re looking at is potentially a timeline adjustment.” Your audience is not grading you on syllable count.

Finally, the best speakers do not remove every trace of humanity from their speech. They still pause, restart, laugh, clarify, and occasionally say “um.” The difference is that filler words do not control the message. When you focus on clarity, structure, breath, and connection, your speaking becomes easier to trust. You sound less like someone trying to perform confidence and more like someone who actually has something useful to say.

Conclusion: Clear Speech Is a Skill, Not a Personality Trait

Learning how to stop saying “um” is not about becoming perfect. It is about becoming easier to follow. When you record yourself, slow down, pause, breathe, and organize your thoughts, filler words lose their grip. You begin to sound more confident because your message has more room to breathe.

The next time you feel an “um” rising, do not panic. Pause. Think. Continue. That tiny moment of silence may feel bold at first, but it is one of the simplest ways to sound more polished, prepared, and present.

And remember: your audience does not need you to be flawless. They need you to be clear. That is a much kinder goaland a much more useful one.

Note: This article is for communication coaching and educational purposes. If speech disfluency causes significant distress or interferes with daily communication, consider consulting a qualified speech-language professional.