3 Ways to Make the Popular Guy Want You

Let’s get one thing straight: you can’t force someone to like you. (If you could, everyone would be dating their celebrity crush, and algebra would be illegal.)
What you can do is become someone who’s fun to be around, easy to talk to, and confident enough to handle whatever happens next.
That’s the real secret sauceand it works whether your crush is “the popular guy,” the quiet smart kid, or the person who always smells like fresh laundry somehow.

Also, “popular” doesn’t automatically mean “perfect.” A lot of popular people feel pressure to keep up an image, fit in, and stay on top sociallyespecially in middle school and high school.
So instead of trying to impress him with a personality you borrowed from the Internet, aim for something way more powerful: a connection that feels natural, respectful, and real.

Below are three healthy, realistic ways to get noticed (in a good way), build chemistry, and give your crush a reason to want to know you betterwithout turning into a human pretzel.

Way #1: Build “Main Character Energy” (Confidence That Doesn’t Beg for Approval)

The fastest way to become more attractive isn’t a makeover montage or a dramatic slow-motion hallway walk (though those are fun).
It’s confidence that comes from actually liking your own lifeyour interests, your friends, your goals, your vibe.
Healthy relationships are built on respect and feeling good about who you are.

1) Get busy with things that make you feel capable

Join a club, a sport, theater, band, debate, volunteering, student councilanything that gives you a role and a reason to show up.
When you do activities you care about, you naturally become more interesting (because you actually have stuff to talk about).
Plus, confidence grows when you try, learn, mess up, and try again.

2) Upgrade your self-talk (because your brain is listening)

If your inner voice sounds like a comment section, it’s time to edit it.
Instead of “He’d never like me,” try: “I’m learning how to be more confident, and that’s attractive.”
Research has linked supportive social relationships with healthier self-esteemand self-esteem can shape how comfortable you feel connecting with people.

3) Stop “auditioning” for popularity

If you’re constantly changing your opinions, style, or interests to match what you think he likes, you’ll feel anxious and fake.
And honestly? It’s exhausting. The goal is not to become “good enough” to be chosen.
The goal is to show up as yourself and see if he is a good match for you.

Quick examples of confidence that reads as attractive

• Asking a question in class even if your voice shakes a little.
• Being kind to people who can’t “do anything for you.”
• Laughing at your own awkward moment instead of spiraling.
• Having boundaries, like “No, I’m not skipping practice.”

Confidence isn’t loud. It’s steady. It says: “I’m okay either way.”
And that calm, self-respecting energy tends to stand out in a world where everyone’s trying to look unbothered while secretly being extremely bothered.

Way #2: Make Talking to You Feel Easy (Connection Beats Performance)

Want the popular guy to notice you? Give him something most people don’t: a conversation that feels relaxed, genuine, and fun.
Strong relationships rely on communication, trust, and respectnot mind games.

1) Start small and low-pressure

Forget dramatic confessions under the bleachers. Aim for tiny moments first:
a quick hello, a comment about class, a joke about the cafeteria’s mysterious “chicken” situation.
These little interactions build familiarityand familiarity builds comfort.

Easy openers that don’t sound like a robot:

• “Wait, did we have homework for tomorrow?”
• “You’re good at thishow did you study?”
• “That quiz was… a choice.”
• “Is that your playlist? What’s the song?”

2) Use the underrated superpower: curiosity

People love talking to someone who makes them feel interesting.
Ask real questions, not interview questions.
Then listen like you’re not planning your next line while they talk.

Try “curiosity ladders”:

• Start broad: “How’s your season going?”
• Go specific: “What position do you play?”
• Add feeling: “Do you get nervous before games?”

3) Be warm in public, consistent in private

One of the easiest ways to become memorable is simple kindnessespecially in school where everyone is stressed, tired, and pretending they’re not.
Kindness can also make social interactions feel safer and less intimidating.

This doesn’t mean following him around like a lost duckling.
It means being the person who says “good luck,” who smiles, who doesn’t mock others to seem cool.
Popularity can be loud. Kindness is stickyit stays with people.

4) Flirt like a person, not a marketing campaign

Flirting isn’t a script. It’s a vibe:
playful teasing (never mean), eye contact (not staring contests), and compliments that are specific.

Examples of compliments that don’t feel generic:

• “You’re actually hilarious in a quiet way.”
• “You explain stuff really clearly. That’s rare.”
• “Your style is coollike you know what you’re doing.”

The goal is to make him feel good around younot pressured, not confused, not like he’s being chased by a romantic subpoena.

Way #3: Respect Yourself Out Loud (Boundaries + Clarity = Real Attraction)

Here’s the plot twist: one of the most attractive things you can do is have standards.
Healthy relationships involve respecting boundaries and communicating clearly.
When you show you won’t do anything for attention, you send a powerful message: “I’m worth genuine effort.”

1) Choose confidence over chasing

If you’re always the one starting every conversation, sending the first message, and trying to “prove” you’re cool enough, it starts to feel one-sided.
Instead, look for balance:

• Does he also ask you questions?
• Does he show up when he says he will?
• Does he treat you with respect when no one’s watching?

If the answer is mostly “no,” that’s not a challenge. That’s information.

2) Be clear when the time is right (not intensejust clear)

After you’ve had a few good interactions, it’s okay to create a moment.
Keep it simple and low-pressure:

• “Do you want to sit together at the game?”
• “I’m going to grab a snack after schoolwant to come?”
• “You seem cool. Want to hang out sometime?”

Clear doesn’t mean clingy. Clear means brave.
And if he’s interested, clarity makes it easier for him to respond.

3) Protect your boundaries (and watch how he reacts)

Boundaries can be emotional (“Don’t make jokes about my body”), social (“I’m not comfortable with that rumor”), or physical (“No” means noalways).
Healthy relationships require that boundaries are respected, and consent matters in every situation.

Green-flag reactions sound like:

• “Got it. Sorry about that.”
• “Thanks for telling me.”
• “I didn’t realize. I’ll stop.”

Red-flag reactions sound like:

• “You’re so sensitive.”
• “If you liked me, you would…”
• Any pressure, guilt-tripping, or public embarrassment.

If someone tries to push your limits to “prove” something, that’s not romance.
That’s a warning sign.
If you ever feel pressured or unsafe, talking to a trusted adult or reaching out to a teen relationship support organization can help.

4) Handle rejection like a legend

If he’s not interested, it will sting. That’s normal.
But here’s the power move: be respectful, keep your dignity, and move forward.
A calm “No worries” is not only classyit protects your confidence for the next person who will appreciate you.

What Not to Do (Because It Backfires)

• Don’t change your personality to match what you think he wants. It creates stress and attracts the wrong kind of attention.
• Don’t use jealousy (posting to make him react, flirting with others to “test” him). It creates drama, not trust.
• Don’t chase status. If you only want him because other people want him, that’s popularity talking, not your heart.
• Don’t ignore red flags just because he’s cute. Cute doesn’t cancel out disrespect.

The Bottom Line

If you want the popular guy to want you, the healthiest path is surprisingly simple:
build your confidence, connect naturally, and keep your standards.
That combination doesn’t just increase your chances with one personit improves how you feel in your own skin, which is the biggest glow-up of all.

And if it works? Great. You’ve built something real.
If it doesn’t? Also greatbecause you didn’t lose yourself trying to win someone else.

Extra: of Real-Life Experiences (Composite Scenarios)

The stories below are “composite” experiencesmeaning they’re based on common situations teens describe, not one specific person.
Think of them like realistic mini-movies: same school energy, different cast.

Experience #1: The “I Have to Be Cool” Trap

Talia liked the popular guy because he always seemed confidentlaughing with friends, talking to everyone, never looking awkward.
So she tried to become “effortless” too. She forced herself to like the same music, pretended she didn’t care about grades, and posted things she thought would look impressive.
The problem was: she felt anxious all the time. Every interaction became a performance review in her head.

The turning point was when she joined a club she actually liked (photography). She started showing up weekly, making friends, and getting better at something.
A few weeks later, the popular guy noticed her camera and asked about it.
For the first time, she wasn’t trying to be coolshe was cool, because she had her own thing.
The conversation was easy because she wasn’t acting.

Experience #2: The Quiet Conversation Wins

Jordan was not the loudest person in class, but she was friendly.
She started with small moments: “How’d you do on that test?” “That assignment was brutal.”
She didn’t flirt hard. She didn’t chase. She just created a calm pattern of normal, positive interactions.
Eventually, when the popular guy had a rough day, she was the person he could talk to without feeling judged.

What made it work wasn’t a perfect lineit was her consistency.
She listened, asked real questions, and didn’t try to turn every moment into “Do you like me yet?”
Over time, he started looking for her in the hallway because being around her felt peaceful, not stressful.
That’s underrated attraction: comfort plus respect.

Experience #3: The Boundary That Changed Everything

Maya finally got invited to hang out with a group that included her crush.
She was exciteduntil the vibe turned messy. People started teasing others, making comments that weren’t funny, and pressuring someone to do something they didn’t want to do.
Maya felt that familiar fear: “If I say something, I’ll ruin my chance.”

Instead, she kept it simple. She changed seats, checked in with the person being pressured, and said, “Let’s not do that.”
It wasn’t a speech. It was a boundary.
Later, her crush messaged her (in a totally normal way) and said he respected that she didn’t follow the crowd.
Maya didn’t “win” him by being loudershe stood out by being solid.

These experiences have a pattern: the strongest “make him want you” strategy isn’t a trick.
It’s building a life you like, showing genuine interest, and protecting your self-respect.
That’s the kind of energy people rememberand the kind of relationship that’s actually worth having.