Hey Pandas, What Expression Should We Stop Saying? (Closed)

The thread is officially closed, the comments have stopped flying, and the pandas have spoken:
there are certain everyday expressions we should retirepolitely, permanently, and preferably before we say them
out loud in a meeting, at school pickup, or (worst-case scenario) at a wedding toast.

This isn’t about being “the word police.” It’s about being a decent human with working ears. Language shapes how
we see people. Some phrases “sound normal” only because we’ve heard them forevernot because they’re harmless.
So consider this your fun, practical wrap-up: the most called-out expressions, why they land badly, and what to
say instead without turning every conversation into a seminar.

Why Some Common Sayings Need to Go

Many expressions carry baggage: outdated stereotypes, ableist assumptions, racial or cultural appropriation,
gendered expectations, or subtle microaggressions that “other” people. You can mean well and still cause harm.
The goal isn’t perfectionit’s improvement. Swapping one phrase for another is one of the easiest upgrades you
can make to your communication (and your likability).

The Big “Stop Saying That” Categories

1) Ableist expressions (disability and mental health used as insults)

These are the phrases the pandas flagged the mostbecause they’re everywhere, and because they treat disability
or mental health like a punchline or a synonym for “bad.”

• Stop saying: “That’s crazy / insane / nuts.”
  Try: “That’s wild,” “That’s unbelievable,” “That’s messed up,” “That’s a lot.”
• Stop saying: “I’m so OCD” (when you mean tidy).
  Try: “I’m really particular,” “I like things organized,” “I’m detail-oriented.”
• Stop saying: “I’m so ADHD” (when you mean distracted).
  Try: “I’m having trouble focusing,” “My attention is all over the place today.”
• Stop saying: “Lame,” “dumb,” “idiot,” “psycho.”
  Try: “Boring,” “not great,” “rude,” “unsafe,” “cruel,” “unreasonable.”
• Stop saying: “Blind to the truth,” “fell on deaf ears,” “crippled by…”
  Try: “Ignoring the truth,” “not being heard,” “held back by…,” “limited by…”

A good rule: if a word describes a real condition or disability, don’t use it as a casual insult. It costs you
nothing to be more accurateand accuracy is kind of the whole point of words.

2) Gendered expressions that sneak in stereotypes

Some sayings are basically tiny scripts that tell people how to behave based on gender. They can shame boys for
having feelings, dismiss women, and exclude people who don’t fit the “ladies/gentlemen” box.

• Stop saying: “Man up.”
  Try: “Hang in there,” “Be brave,” “Let’s handle it.”
• Stop saying: “You guys” (for mixed groups, especially in formal settings).
  Try: “Everyone,” “Team,” “Folks,” “All.”
• Stop saying: “Don’t be so emotional” (translation: “Stop having a valid reaction”).
  Try: “Help me understand what you need,” “Let’s pause and talk through it.”
• Stop saying: “Bossy” (often used for girls who lead).
  Try: “Direct,” “assertive,” “decisive.”

3) Racial and cultural landmines (including “jokes” that aren’t jokes)

If a phrase depends on turning a culture into a costumeor uses identity as shorthand for “bad,” “cheap,” or
“scary”it’s not quirky. It’s lazy.

• Stop saying: “That’s so ghetto.”
  Try: “That’s unsafe,” “That’s low-quality,” “That’s poorly made,” “That’s a mess.”
• Stop saying: “Powwow” (to mean a quick meeting).
  Try: “Quick huddle,” “Short meeting,” “Sync.”
• Stop saying: “My spirit animal” (as a meme).
  Try: “My vibe,” “I relate to that,” “That’s my favorite,” “That’s me in a nutshell.”
• Stop saying: “Eskimo” (for people) or other outdated labels.
  Try: Use the specific community name when relevant (e.g., Inuit) or avoid labeling entirely if it’s not relevant.

If you’re thinking, “But I didn’t mean it that way,” surebut impact isn’t canceled by intent. If a phrase
regularly makes people feel reduced or mocked, it’s not worth keeping.

4) Microaggressions that sound like compliments (and aren’t)

These are the “friendly” phrases that still send a message: you don’t belong, you’re surprising, you’re an
exception, or you’re a perpetual outsider.

• Stop saying: “Where are you really from?”
  Try: “Where did you grow up?” (and only if it’s relevant and welcomed).
• Stop saying: “You speak good English!”
  Try: Skip it. If you mean “You explained that clearly,” say that.
• Stop saying: “You’re so articulate.” (when it’s coded as surprise)
  Try: “That was a clear point,” “I like how you explained that.”

5) Disrespect disguised as “honesty”

Some expressions are basically a warning label: “I’m about to be mean, but I want immunity.”

• Stop saying: “No offense, but…”
  Try: “Can I share something that might come off blunt?” (and then actually be respectful).
• Stop saying: “I’m just being honest.”
  Try: “I want to be clear,” “Here’s my perspective,” “Here’s a concern.”
• Stop saying: “Calm down.”
  Try: “I hear you,” “Let’s take a breath,” “Do you want solutions or support?”
• Stop saying: “It’s just a joke.”
  Try: “I’m sorrythat didn’t land. Thanks for telling me.”

A Quick Guide: How to Retire a Phrase Without Making It Weird

Swap, don’t spiral

You don’t need a dramatic apology tour every time you slip. A simple pivot works:
“That’s crazyactually, that’s wild,” and keep moving.

Choose precision over habit

A lot of harmful expressions are vague insults. Replacing them forces you to say what you mean.
Instead of “That’s lame,” try “That plan is risky” or “That doesn’t solve the problem.”
You’ll sound smarter and kinder. Rare combo, but it exists.

Let context be your compass

Some words aren’t universally banned in every setting; they’re just risky when used casually, or when you’re
describing people. If a phrase could reasonably sting someone in the room, choose a safer alternative.

The Panda-Approved “Try This Instead” Mini Cheat Sheet

• Instead of “crazy/insane” → “wild,” “shocking,” “unreal,” “awful,” “messy”
• Instead of “I’m so OCD” → “I’m particular,” “I like it organized”
• Instead of “spirit animal” → “my vibe,” “my favorite,” “my mood”
• Instead of “you guys” → “everyone,” “folks,” “team”
• Instead of “no offense” → “Can I share something directly?”
• Instead of “calm down” → “I hear you,” “Let’s pause,” “What do you need?”

Conclusion: Better Phrases, Better Conversations

Retiring an expression doesn’t erase history, fix every bias, or make you a saint. But it does make daily life
a little easier for people who are tired of being the punchline, the stereotype, or the “surprise exception.”
Language evolves because people evolve. And because sometimes a phrase has simply outlived whatever charm it once
pretended to have.

Thread closed. Lesson open. And if you catch yourself about to say something questionable, remember:
you can always choose the option that makes you sound like a thoughtful adult instead of a human autoplay button.

Extra (About ): Real-Life Moments That Made People Rethink “Harmless” Expressions

Here are a few composite, real-world-style experiences people commonly share (in offices,
classrooms, group chats, and family dinners) that show how “normal” expressions can land in a not-so-normal way.
If any of these feel familiar, congratulationsyou’re alive on Earth and have interacted with humans.

The meeting where “crazy” did a backflip. Someone presents a last-minute change to a project.
A colleague laughs and says, “That’s insane.” The room chucklesuntil you notice the person across the table who
has been open about managing anxiety and panic attacks. Nobody is “in trouble,” but the mood shifts. Afterward,
another coworker quietly swaps to “That’s a lot” and “That’s unexpected,” and somehow the conversation stays
just as expressive without turning mental health into a synonym for “bad plan.”

The “I’m so OCD” comment that isn’t about neat desks. A friend labels their color-coded pantry
“so OCD,” meaning they like order. Another friendwho actually lives with obsessive-compulsive disordergoes
quiet. Later, they explain that OCD isn’t a personality quirk; it can involve intrusive thoughts and compulsions
that feel impossible to ignore. The group doesn’t do a dramatic guilt ceremony. They just… adjust. The pantry
becomes “organized,” not “OCD,” and the friend with OCD doesn’t have to carry the extra burden of hearing their
diagnosis turned into a cute joke.

The “Where are you really from?” loop. At a party, someone asks a person of color where they’re
from. “Chicago,” they answer. “No, like, really from.” It’s meant as curiosity, but it lands as
“You’re not fully American.” The simplest fix turns out to be better questions: “Did you grow up here?” or
“What’s your story?”and only if the person seems interested in sharing. Curiosity can be kind, but it shouldn’t
be an interrogation disguised as friendliness.

The group text “spirit animal” moment. A meme of a sleepy sloth goes around and someone writes,
“This is my spirit animal.” Another person replies, politely, that the phrase can trivialize Indigenous spiritual
concepts. The chat doesn’t explode. Someone says, “Got itmy mood animal?” Another says, “My vibe.” Everyone
lives. The sloth remains iconic. Nobody had to defend a phrase like it’s a treasured heirloom.

The “calm down” trap. In a disagreement, one person says “Calm down,” meaning “I’m overwhelmed.”
The other hears “Your feelings are invalid.” The argument escalates. Later, they try a different script:
“I’m hearing you, and I want to respond wellcan we pause for a second?” Same need, totally different impact.
It turns out de-escalation works better when it doesn’t sound like a dismissal.

The common thread in all these stories isn’t that anyone was evil. It’s that language is a shared space. When we
update a few expressions, we make that space easier to live inwithout losing humor, personality, or the ability
to describe a situation as truly, deeply, chaotically wild.